How to Become & Remain Depressed

Even though depression is seen as a bad thing people that suffer from depression are very comfortable with being depressed. As human beings we are programmed to seek pleasure but our priority is to avoid pain. If depression was extremely painful people would snap out of it a lot quicker.

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Below there are 8 steps that will help you become and remain depressed for how ever long you wish:

Step 1 – Most important is to start by neglecting yourself and your health. Start seeing life as very negative and that everything around you is wrong. Keep focusing on problems, your work, your love life, your health, someone you have lost and just keep telling yourself that you cannot deal with these issues. This will bring you overwhelming sadness and will suck a lot of energy out of you.

Step 2 – Even though you know you can deal with these feelings, just keep telling yourself you cannot manage this time. Become very worried and stressed about your feelings and what you are going through. Believe that it is inevitable to be depressed. You are depressed! Keep repeating this to yourself so it gets absorbed in your unconscious mind, reminding yourself all the time that indeed you are depressed.

Step 3 – Do not share with anyone what you are going through, avoid your friends and family, especially the ones that you know will make you feel better. Instead book an appointment with your doctor. Explain the symptoms and he/she will give you a questionnaire that will contribute even more to the belief that you are depressed. Mention that you have probably thought that your life is no longer worth living, and as the professionals they are, they will prescribe you with medicine (anti-depressants) to help you overcome this, even though it is proven not to cure it. Your doctor will also recommend you to start seeing a psychologist, which is a great start as you now really believe you are ill and your brain and your body will help you even go deeper into this belief. Chose a traditional psychologist, the ones that just focus on the problem and not the solution.

Step 4 – Lock yourself at home. The last thing you want is to see the day light or be outside, this might help you start feeling good again so avoid this at all costs. As now you are probably off from work, (on sick leave) you will have a lot of time to keep focusing on the problems and on the negative thinking. As you are at home just watch and listen to things that make you even more upset.

Step 5 – Start sleeping during the day. This will mess with your body clock and at night instead of wanting to sleep you will be wide awake with more time to think about your feelings and your problems, as nobody else will be awake to speak with you. Your body is now becoming very tense and is going through what we call fight or flight mode. As you are not fighting or flying, you will just store all the tension in your body making you feel extremely anxious, you will probably start feeling some pain in your chest so if you want to even take it further, think you might now also have heart problems and that you will probably die alone.

Step 6 – Believe you deserve all this! – That you were just born to suffer and that everything around you is just wrong and with no meaning. If you have to interact with people, try to find people that are going through a bad time as well, like this you can both complain and share your problems, helping create an even bigger monster. If your problems are not enough, you can also focus on the other person’s problems, this usually helps you remain depressed for longer.

Step 7 – Avoid doing everything that you enjoy doing, like seeing your friends, doing exercise, going for walks, go for drinks. The trick is not to have any purpose in life or in your career. This will only make you appreciate the good things in life so please do not change your bad habits, you don’t want to start feeling any better do you? As they say, there is not even a cure for this….this is it, you are doomed.

Step 8 – Do not change your strategy. Just believe that this is who you are, and this is your destiny. You were created to be miserable and to suffer. Maybe one day you will be cured just like magic. Yes because you cannot take action trying to face these problems, this will make you realise you can snap out of it so please, please do not seek any alternative solutions, do not read about motivation and self-development, do not exercise or go on holidays. You need to keep taking your medication (anti- depressants) and can only hope for a miracle right?

Now if you are already doing all the above, we congratulate you. You are enjoying your depression in your comfort zone and will probably remain doing it for the rest of your life. Do what you have to do, just do not live your life!

Your Choice…Belimitless!

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